Connecting with Yourself
Our society focuses so much on community and staying connected with others. But I think we might be missing a very important note. Are we connected with our Self? Do we know our Self? Do we know what we need, how we are feeling, what our body is telling us, what is out of balance and what our overall mood is?
I am a big advocate for being connected with others. I believe there is great value and gifts that come from sangha; tribe, family, community, nature, etc.. But if our focus is so strongly geared towards that, which mine has been most of my life, what about being connected first with my Self?
Something Was Missing For Me
Lately I have been noticing that I was missing something and I was finding myself more and more unbalanced and unhappy. Something was amiss though because I take really good care of my health, I workout every day, I get enough rest, I don’t take in any toxins, I am connected to community, I get out into nature (some), I am generally a happy and grounded woman but something was off. And because my life is all about helping people I was stuck in the mode of staying okay because that’s my image; but it wasn’t my truth at the time.
I did some diving into my entire life and I realized there were, in fact, some grand inconsistencies. Yes, I am a healthy woman, and yes I do take good care of myself but there were pockets in my life that I was neglecting and not connecting to in a loving and consistent way. I tend to make sure everyone else is doing okay and since I am ticking all the boxes on my own daily self-care acts I assumed I was okay too. Wake up call! Nope, one doesn’t mean the other is okay.
Making Sure I’m Okay First
I invite you to take a deep dive into your entire life and see if there are any inconsistencies present. Are there areas of your life you are neglecting? Is there a greater importance placed on the wellness and mental health of your loved ones than on you? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself why? My answer was because that is my life’s purpose; or so I thought.
I chose to do a bit of remodeling of the constructs of my mind. Instead of my life’s purpose being taking care of everyone and making sure I am always helping and available to all those in need, my current life’s purpose is shifting towards making sure I am okay and that I have all I need. Then I can go out into the world and help others from a place of wholeness and wellness.
Your Deep Dive Questions…
During Meal Time
Am I eating enough real food?
Does my day start with an energy bar or an actual grown up meal with utensils?
Am I buzzing from stimulants? Do I need to vibrate through my day?
Can I wake up and begin my day without a boost of energy from caffeine or simple carbohydrates/sugar?
What am I doing while I eat or am I just eating?
During The Day
Is the pace in which I live my life really sustainable and conducive to my belief system?
Am I living in a way that feels good in my body and in my brain?
Am I multitasking?
Can I simplify my life in someway?
Do I have to actually do so many things at once? If so, then how can I manage my time differently to give myself the gift of space and single pointed attention?
During Check-In Time
Is there time in my day to actually just be? I know this is a trendy topic but I want to dumb it down to an even simpler definition of just being with yourself. We all feel we need to meditate, do yoga, workout, be with nature, take baths, find nirvana, etc. in order to relax or find that sense of being’ness.
What I am suggesting is none of that. ☺ Instead, how about we just spend time checking in and seeing how we are doing? We actually sit down, do nothing, and ask the questions we would ask a dear friend if we went to lunch. Here are a few conversation starters for your inner chats:
- How are you feeling?
- Are you getting enough food in your day? What is missing? What do you want?
- How are you sleeping? Is there anything we can do to help your nighttime ritual be more supportive of you getting more rest and relaxation?
- Are you taking naps? They are really good for your well-being. Could we incorporate those on some days perhaps?
- Is there anything you want to talk about that is bothering you? (And then actually talk to yourself and listen. Journaling is nice too.)
- Are you scared about anything? Are you feeling trepidation about anything in your life right now?
- Are you lonely? Do you want to talk to anyone in particular or wish someone would reach out to you? Do you feel it might be wise to schedule a session with your therapist, or life coach?
- Would you like to make any changes in your life that there hasn’t been time for lately? I’m listening and really would like to know how you are doing.
I think you are getting the idea. Actually have a conversation with yourself and see how you are doing.
My Personal Deep Dive Discoveries
When I did it I discovered that I was not doing so well. I needed to stop the momentum of my life; the patterning of my days, to actually allow space for the answers to be heard.
I, personally, needed to eat more food, and by food I mean meals that involved a plate of food that was warm and needed utensils and eaten slowly. I needed to talk about my feelings more and be vulnerable with some loved ones I felt safe exposing my vulnerability with. I needed to give myself permission to say I was depressed and know that it was okay to feel depressed. And the big one for me was I needed to let all of this be acceptable in the big picture of life and not be ashamed, embarrassed, or silent about it.
Allowing Yourself The Deep Dive “Pause”
We are here to learn, to grow, and to feel. But we are also here to share and be real. We are of no value to this life experience or ourselves if we are just getting by. We are allowed to pause; Self reflect and change some things around that need updating. In fact, I encourage you to do this often. It’s good for you. Here is to being real and living honestly within, and from, our Self.
Please share any experiences you have had with this topic. I would love to know how this touches you.
I send you blessings of good health and a peaceful heart.
Dove’s boutique studio, Dove’s Bodies, has been an LA institution for more than 35 years. With a background combining decades’ worth of studies in fitness, dance, pilates, martial arts, primal movement, yoga, pranayama, organic nutrition, energy healing, mindful living, intuitive clearing and meditation, Dove is sought out for her unique, intuitive wholistic total-body approach. Dove’s life passion is to guide her clients on their own unique path to wellness, wholeness, and the full integration of mind, body and spirit.
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