Honoring Through Connection

When I began this blog, I titled it “My Morning Mimosa” because I wanted it to be lighthearted, fun, like sitting on a Sunday morning having brunch with your best friend talking about life. I also wanted it to be something insightful, but a bit tongue-in-cheek about it.

My thought when I came up the blog name was;

My Morning Mimosa is a little something to go along with your Daily Bread.”

This is a reference to a Christian prayer, Bible verse and meditation daily devotional booklet that comes out annually that my mother used to read. It was my way of connecting to her and honoring the habits she and my father instilled in me of taking that time for my mind and heart to come into alignment with my spirit – and the Great Spirit – every day.

Yet by giving it a tiny “alcoholic twist” as it were, I also was honoring who I am, and the humor and laughter with which I love to fill up my life. It was my own “inside wink” as it were, at my roots and at myself.

But this past year I, like most people, found it hard to write about lighthearted things as I dealt with the many difficulties and darkness we all have been struggling with. My heart wasn’t feeling very “light” at all in either sense of the term – not as a feather nor filled with it or having it pour out of me.

However, it is time to reconnect. To reconnect to the light, reconnect to my heart, reconnect to the laughter, and reconnect to my purpose in doing this. And in connecting, to once again honor both myself, and my mother, as was the original intention of this space.

And so, my friend, I invite you to pour yourself a bit of Champagne, add some Orange Juice (or other juice of your choice), grab a bit of bread, and let’s have a chat about how honor connects us to one another, and how by being connected, we honor each other.

Because as we all know, everything is connected

The fact that I’m sitting here writing an article about honor, for instance, while feeling completely dishonorable about my commitment to getting a monthly blog done on time is ironic at least, and something that causes me to roll my eyes and groan at myself while shaking my head. And it’s a connection to the lessons of life.

Why do I feel dishonorable, you ask? Because yet again I have waited until the last possible moment to deliver said article to the wonderful editors and co-creators of this fine online community magazine at insidewink.com. Every month I promise myself (and them) I’ll get it to them long before the deadline so they can have everything in place and ready to go with no worries well in advance. And every month somehow that deadline whizzes past me like a three year old on a tricycle chasing a puppy.

Honoring My Parents

There is also the connection that part of why I haven’t gotten to writing this particular article earlier in the month was because I was dealing with researching options for our family to consider with regards to a final place to inter my mother and father’s remains. How can we best honor them? What would they truly want?

I’d thought I’d dealt with the grief of my mom’s passing at the end of last year, but as I made phone calls and had Zoom meetings and researched what could be done, the emotions came rushing at me and hit me like that same three year old turning around and crashing her trike full force into my legs, taking them out from under me.

And as I sit here considering the theme of “honor” for this month of February 2021, and the theme of “connection” for next month in March (also my birthday month), the fact that the naming of this blog and the idea for it was both connected to my mother and in honor of her as well as myself … well, the whole “everything is connected” wording just doesn’t do it justice. I sort of feel her talking to me.

Even the fact the first analogy to come to my mind as I am writing this in terms of describing what I’m going through has to do with a three year old is a connection. My subconscious is stepping up to say hello, reminding me that the main emotions I’ve been feeling this past month can be summed up in the words;

“I miss my mommy.”

So, friends, what do I do now to honor her, and connect with her? And in so doing, honor not just myself… but you. And connect with you?

What Can I Offer To Honor Others?

Well, in an effort to get back to the “light-filled heart” roots of this blog, I’d like to offer three things you (and I) can do to honor ourselves and others by connecting.

Most of the time we wait until a person we love is gone before we really honor them, or think of how we’d best like to do that.  But what would happen if we chose to honor someone here and now, in our lives at this moment?  Think about it.  How would it make you feel to have someone honor you out of the blue?  How would it make someone you love feel to have you do it for no reason other than you want to connect to them more deeply?  And what are some ways we can do that?

When I think of how we honor those we’ve lost, the first thing that comes to mind is that we look for ways in which we can do or give something in their name that we know they’d have loved to have done or given.  With my mom, for instance, as with my dad, we know that we are planning on donating Gideon Bibles in their name, as that was important to them.  They were Gideon members throughout their lives.

Three Ways to Honor By Connecting

Honoring Through Connection

Honoring By Connecting Idea #1:

Do something or give something in the name of someone you love that you know will make them happy.

This can be something small and simple, like donating to a cause you know they believe in.  In these times of Covid when we are mostly still seeing each other online, perhaps you can find out their favorite Kickstarter campaign, or donate to Tree People to plant a tree in their name.  Heck, get out there and volunteer to plant one yourself if you are able to do it safely.  

Or perhaps it’s going to their favorite coffee shop or restaurant and purchasing a meal in their name to give to a shelter or the next person who calls in for a meal to be delivered.  This will not only to honor your friend, but help that place of business – we all know they can use it right now.  And it passes on the love to a stranger.

The point is not the spending of the money or how much of it you give, but doing something that is significant to the other, personal to them, that means something when it is done in their name.  Even if it’s just getting a $5 coffee for the next person in line behind you in the name of your friend, if you know it’s something they’d have loved to have done, do it on their behalf.

Oh – and let them know you’re doing it.  Better yet, have them there while you do it, or get them involved somehow, even if it’s just on your cell phone.  Take a selfie of your donation in their name and send it to them.  Do something so they know the credit is all for them, not you, that you’re only doing it because of them.  Otherwise, we kind of lost the whole “connection” idea.  The point is that they are getting recognized for simply being who they are, and you are making sure the world knows, in some small way, just how special that is indeed.

Honoring By Connecting

Honoring By Connecting Idea #2:

Write something amazing about someone you love and post it all over social media so everyone knows just how cool they are.

We do this from time to time, usually on someone’s birthday or to thank them for something – but how often do we really take the time to think out and write a short “memoir” about that person, letting everyone know just how special they are and all they’ve done in their lives?

Wouldn’t it be cool to open up Facebook or another social media account and see your name on a beautifully written blog or article talking about your life, your work, your accomplishments, who you are and what you loved… and basically saying how much you touched and changed those around you and especially the one writing the article? 

The idea of writing about your friend or husband or wife or partner or roommate or whomever in a way that truly honors them just for being who they are, that tells people how amazing they are, and shares your love for them with the world, should give you all the feels.  Because I guarantee you, it will give them all the feels when they read it.  Along with everyone else in their life that loves them as you do.

Let’s stop waiting until someone is gone to tell the world about them this way. Let’s start making it a habit to tell the world about them while they’re here – so they can hear it too, and remember just how cool they really are.

Honoring Through Connection

Honoring By Connecting Idea #3:

Grab a Mimosa and gather those people together to share memories with each other of someone you love – even if it is on Zoom right now.

This may take a bit of planning, but it’s gotten way easier with our current situation, since setting up socially distant group calls has become so commonplace.  Whether Zoom or Facetime or whatever, find a way to get a group together that are close to that person you’d like to honor, and let the group know what is up.  Give them a chance to think about a memory or prepare something to say, just as you would if it were a memorium or, even better, an event such as the Oscars or Emmys, where the person is receiving a “Lifetime Achievement Award.”  

Make it fun.  Give people “assignments” as to what to say or have a joke to tell.  Set it up so that when the group gathers – even if it’s all virtual – the person being honored feels as if they are about to be given an award.  Heck, if you’re really creative (and have the energy, time and gumption), actually have an award to give them, like a small trophy with their name on it saying “For Achieving Life,” or their favorite Cappuccino (or Mimosa).  Make a toast in their name.  Make it a surprise.  Do it just because they exist and you are acknowledging that.

It doesn’t have to be a big group.  It could just be three or four of you.  But it’s about having that person hear people’s memories of them, and recognizing that they are special simply because they are alive.

As are you, my friend.

And that’s what this Morning Mimosa blog is really all about.  Reminding each of you – and reminding myself – that we are all special, we are all unique, and we are all deserving of honor and to be honored in our lives.  Because why?

…we are all connected.

And as we honor one another, we honor ourselves.  Just as when we honor ourselves, we honor one another.

(Even when some of us can’t make their deadlines in a timely manner…)

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By JEANETTE DUBOIS

Jeanette is a film & tv editor, writer, director and producer who’s worked on Emmy & Telly Award winning shows, movies, and music videos for a variety of networks.  She’s also a trained operatic who mostly sings to her cats now, though sometimes she expands her audience to her family & friends.  She loves gardening, good books, good wine, and good conversations, preferably all at the same time.

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