Podcast Episode 85: Cheryl Rice

Alison : Hello.

Jean : Cheryl Rice. When I say that name, what comes to mind?

Alison : Oh, Cheryl Rice is a friend of ours that we met doing inside wink. And she does the You Matter Marathon, which are little cards that say you matter with nothing else on them. And her goal was to give them out to people. And she sent us a bunch of cards. And when you give them out, you feel like it’s a little bit of magic. People soften and open and are just warm and caring. It just is a beautiful idea. And all of a sudden she emailed us, um, through inside wink, and now she is doing a You Matter Summit about mattering what’s actually called the Mattering Summit, about Mattering for people. They’re going to have lots of lots of speakers. And she said, like, like different thrusts. And I can’t wait to talk to her again. Right?

Jean : Okay. So I was looking back at our interviews. She is really a beautiful force, and I think she nails it when she says that, you know, it’s all about connection. And these cards just are like a bridge of connection. I also think Allison, it reminds me of insidewink. It’s like a little wink to someone.

Alison : Exactly. And you heard the knocking, right? Did you hear the knocking? That is, we’re getting a signal that we are ready to listen to Cheryl.

Jean : We are.

Alison : I can’t wait. Here we go. Here’s Cheryl Rice.

Cheryl: Hello, hello. Hello, ladies.

Alison : Hello. Wait, are we recording? We are. Hi. How are you?

Cheryl: I’m wonderful. And mostly I’m grateful. I’m just like, big, bow down to both of you for fitting this in. Just. Wow.

Jean : It’s really a pleasure. I, I was so happy when Alison asked and she shared the email so we couldn’t be more pleased.

Alison : Yes, we wish we could do more because we love the whole You Matter thing. We love it.

Cheryl: Yeah, well, maybe another time we can brainstorm because I’m always looking for ideas. Frankly, I’m looking for sponsorship because I…. Are we recording? Is this the podcast?

Alison : Yes, this is it. We’re doing it.

Cheryl: We’re doing it. Okay. So. Well, yeah, I mean, we can brainstorm, but we’re always looking for sponsors because right now, to be honest, it’s, it’s self-funded. So, um, yeah. And, and I think it shouldn’t be, but I’m not very good in those regards. So that’s my development. But what I am good at is spreading the message and giving people the cards and now doing the summit and just creating platforms where people can take action on this most impactful message and concept and necessity of mattering. So that’s, that’s where I think I, I shine.

Alison : Well, we talked in the intro a little bit about the you matter cards, but can you go into a little more depth about it and also what, what this means and what this next step is that you’re taking on this summit.

Cheryl: Yes. So I’m going to I’m going to start from the place where people may not know about the cards. Is that okay?

Alison : Perfect.

Cheryl: Yeah. So the beginning is basically in 2016, somebody gave me a card, a small card with only the words You Matter on it. And I was so touched. I honestly felt like I had been hugged and I ordered some cards of my own and I started sharing them with people first, just my friends and family. And then I got braver and started sharing them in the community with people I interacted with, like the barista who gave me my coffee or my dry cleaner. And every time I gave a card, people would stop. They’d catch themselves, and the impact I could see was tangible and visceral for both of us. And then one day I had, I think it was it was just it was a life changing experience. I was standing behind a woman in the checkout line of my grocery store, and the cashier asked her how she was doing, and she said, not so great. She said, my husband just lost his job and my son is battling addiction. She said, I don’t think I’ll make it through the holidays. I’m overhearing this and I didn’t know what to do. And I, you know, sometimes we’re in these circumstances and it’s like, you freeze. I froze, and so I didn’t do anything until we were in the parking lot.

Cheryl: And I just summoned my courage. I had a card in my pocket, and I went up to her and I said, I couldn’t help but overhear. You’re having a really hard time right now. I just want to give you something. And I gave her a card with just the words you matter on it, and she instantly started to cry. She said, you have no idea what this means to me and she asked for a hug. I gave her a hug. It was my last interaction. I went to my car. I started to cry and I realized, okay, it can’t just be me giving out these cards. We need to do more. We need to do more. I wanted other people to feel this incredible connection and power. And I think in that moment, this woman, this stranger, this woman who was suffering, I couldn’t give her husband a job or heal her son or even buy her groceries necessarily. But what I gave her was a moment of being seen as another human being. And her suffering in that moment, she wasn’t alone with. She was seen. That’s what all of us want. All of us want to be seen, right?

Jean : It is. That is so true. And what a simple yet very powerful act that morning that you had that interaction. Um, and the word mattering, I mean, there’s so much also scientific, um, backup to the importance of, you know, like when newborns are being held versus newborns that are not being held, that one thrives and one doesn’t. Um, and I, I just love your story and we can all make each other, we can support each other in that way.

Alison : Mhm. What is mattering mean to you? What does it mean? Like you matter.

Cheryl: Right. To me to matter is to know, respect and honor the inherent and irrefutable significance of one’s self and the other, to know, respect and honor the inherent and irrefutable significance of self and other. And that’s my definition. Now, there’s a lot of really smart people out there with research and books and but, but the word that permeates most definitions is significance. It’s seeing the inherent significance of another human being just because they’re a human being. It’s like this, this most indivisible quality of aliveness that should be so simple to acknowledge. And right now seems to be a challenge in our society. It’s it seems to be a challenge that we just give everybody, including ourselves, this acknowledgment that we are significant just because we exist. And what a miracle that is.

Jean : And we’re so not taught that.

Alison : Yeah.

Jean : And I’m, I’m right now thinking about, you know, if you were born in a big family, you get kind of mixed in the shuffle there. And a lot of times we don’t feel like we truly matter. We sort of seem like we’re part of a group and, and it’s a fine line between, you know, we are all part of a community and group and family, and we, we do need to have that innate sense of our of our individual worth.

Cheryl: Yes. We need to have that. That is absolutely right. We need to have that Jean.

Alison : We’re living in a world, though, since we since when we talked to you a few years ago. That is is very challenging.

Cheryl: Exactly, exactly. That’s why I think this this work, this mission, this opportunity to, to spread the Mattering gospel, if you will, is so impactful. I, I truly believe we cannot heal the damage in our society unless we get this right. We can’t, we have to get this right. We have to be acknowledging that regardless of race, religion, sexuality, gender, political affiliation. Every human being matters. It’s just so simple. And if we can’t give each other that, we’re not going to be able to build the kind of societies and structures and policies that are really enabling and ennobling of individual well-being and societal well-being. So this to me, I’ll be quite frank with you. I feel like this is the most essential message of our time. I feel like we are in a crisis of mattering. And I feel like this word to say to you, you matter, is even more important than I love you. Because when I say I love you, we all want to be told we’re loved. And I’m not knocking that at all. It’s about me. I say I love you doesn’t mean you’re not lovable if I don’t say I love you, you’re still you, you’re still lovable, it’s a statement about me. What I have in my heart when I say you matter, it has nothing to do with me. I’m reinforcing the truth that you have significance just because you’re a human being. And people forget this, as you were saying, Jean. We’re not raised many people, some got lucky, but many people aren’t raised to believe that they matter no matter what. We’re raised to believe in what I call contingent mattering.

Jean : Mhm.

Cheryl: I matter only if I make people laugh. Only if I’m a size two. Only if I make this much money. Mhm. I have to earn it. I have to earn my significance rather than… Nope. You just got it. We need to be reminded. And we need to be the reminders as well. And that’s why giving out these cards and just to catch everybody up. So I started a movement called the You Matter Marathon –  No running required,  inviting people to share these cards with nothing on the back, just you matter on the front and nothing on the back to share these cards in their communities, with family, with friends. And we give ten cards for free to everyone who signs up to receive them. And what we learn is when people give these cards out, not only does it have an impact on the card receiver, it has a significant impact on the card giver. As we know, just in life, when you give generously from your heart, you get. It’s no different than these cards. So we call it the you matter twofer. I’m I have gotten a better sense of my own significance through doing this. You know, it’s made me realize and so many people today, you were noting the conditions, we’re all living under the challenges. And it can make us feel helpless. Like, what can I do to solve a war? What can I do? Like it’s so big. But guess what? You can grab a card. You can make a card. We have digital cards. You can print your own cards. There’s no excuse. You can get a card. You can stick a couple in your pocket. You can change somebody’s day. You may even change their week or their life. Because at the moment in time, when people get these cards, they seem to need them. One of the most often recited phrases when I give a card. And it’s not just me. Now we have data from hundreds of thousands of people telling us. People say, you have no idea how much I needed this today.

Alison : Yeah.

Cheryl: Probably the most often said phrase, one of them anyway. People need it.

Alison : Yeah. And I think it’s interesting that that when you say to someone, you matter, you, I feel like I matter then to by giving it out.

Cheryl: Exactly. That’s just that’s just right. Alison. That is exactly right. I’m powerful. It’s it’s, I have agency. We’re all capable of, of, of being an, a significant player in other people’s lives. We are, whether we know it or not. I mean, we know and there’s social contagion and there’s research. We’re social beings. We impact each other all the time. Why not do it deliberately and for the good?

Alison : Right,

Jean : Right.  And it, it shows that the interconnectedness, you know, when I, when I give a card, I, I feel, um, I feel better. Oh I can’t wait till they get to see that card. And you know, Cheryl, I had a bunch of the cards in my car, and my daughter borrowed my car, and she opened up the glove compartment and she says, mom, what are these cards? These you matter cards? And she, because there was no nothing on the back, so you’re not wanting anything, it’s not like a real estate selling, you know, there was no catch and she thought it was really cool.

Cheryl: I’m so glad to hear that.

Alison : I, I have given them out to people just walking down the street and people always just so like, oh, thank you. It’s like if you say to someone, you look good today or, you know, just, just to relate to someone on, on a, because I think, I think right now we’re dealing with a lot of people that feel disposable.

Cheryl: Oh my gosh.

Alison : Or disliked or hated or pushed out.

Cheryl: Yes. Marginalized.

Alison : Yeah.

Cheryl: We have entire communities of people who are in fear and feeling marginalized and being told in very clear ways that they don’t matter.  And it’s a very small sliver of the population right now that seems to matter. And I think that leaves a lot of people out. And when people feel like they don’t matter, bad things happen. And we know and the research is telling us loneliness, anxiety, depression, and even worse, people will act out. They will harm themselves or others in order to create a sense of mattering.

Alison : Right?

Cheryl: It’s not this isn’t a woo woo, just feel good hallmark stuff at all. Like this is the medicine that I believe our society needs right now to do the healing and to thrive. Like as I said, I think it’s the most essential message and we can all find ways of partaking in sharing this message.

Alison : Mhm.

Jean : Right.

Alison : Your passion is so contagious.

Cheryl: Oh, good.

Alison : I love it. You get me all like, I feel like crying and jumping up and running out with cards at the same time, you know?  What is the mattering seminar? The summit?

Cheryl: Yeah. Yeah.

Jean : So, by the way, you’ve got some fantastic guests.

Cheryl: I know!

Jean : I saw your lineup and they are wonderful!

Cheryl: They’re wonderful. And I can’t even believe it. You know, I, I still think, who am I? Like, it’s so weird. You know, I still am challenged at times with mattering, which, you know, we teach what we need to learn. So I’m like, oh, my God. Like people said yes. Like I’m astounded myself, I have to say, and grateful. So one of our board members, we were brainstorming, you know, we celebrated our 10th year of the marathon and we’re running along doing great. And we’re like, what could we do? And I think she said, well, we could, you know, mattering is having a moment. There’s a lot of great authors, um, researchers, books are coming out about mattering. So I’m like mattering is having a moment. We need it more than ever. These people are all kind of all over the place. What have we got them together? And what if we did a summit? And so we just brainstormed a list and we were hoping we’d get enough people to do one day of a summit. This is online and we have two and a half days. And believe me, it’s tight. We could have gone on. Um, and we just started inviting people and, and, you know, we asked, would you donate your expertise and time? And like 90% of people said, absolutely, I want to be part of this. I want to be part of this magnification of the mattering message… Amplifying it and finding out all the nuances. And what’s beautiful is there are a lot of nuances to this. So we have like three trusts, if you will, mattering to self. You know, one of the topics, the titles is what do you do when you feel like you don’t matter? Like hands up who can’t relate to that sometimes, right? So mattering to self, mattering between others, like interpersonally. We have somebody who’s a couple’s therapist talking about mattering and couples. Um, just certainly view matter marathon would fit there. How do we just interpersonally reinforce for others that they matter and then mattering in our society? What are some of the systems, the community based work? How do you design communities where mattering is front and center? So we have speakers and panels that fall under at least one of these umbrellas, if not some overlap. So I’m just astounded. And, um, we have most of the speakers are live, some will be pre-records all of the seminar. The summit will be recorded. Anybody can sign up for free. You can kind of come in and out for the speakers you’re most interested in. And we’re even giving away the, um, videos for free for the first two weeks after the summit ends. So if you’re working, you can’t make it. Sign up to make sure you have access to the video. So my ambition always is, how do we make this so accessible that people can’t help but say yes for the cards… That’s why they’re free,  for the summit. That’s why it’s free. There’s there’s no catch. As you were saying, Jean, it’s just like, come on board people like, get with it. We, we can do this together. And there’s gorgeous science. People are people much smarter than me who have, you know, rigorous backgrounds in academia. And they’ve done studies. And we want all these thought leaders together to share their brilliance and then in actionable ways, actionable ways, what we can do as practitioners and human beings and citizens at this time when the world is hurting… We’re all part of the answer.

Alison : Yeah, I love those. I love those three categories.. It gives me chills –  mattering to self.

Jean : Okay. So Cheryl.  When you’re having…  say you’re someone listening or just me, uh, you know, you’re

Alison : you’re asking for a friend, right?

Jean : Asking for a friend….That has, you know, a long brown hair. And so if you’re feeling kind of low, having a low, I don’t matter day or, you know, moment or whatever, what, what’s something that I can do?

Cheryl: So it’s going to sound cliche, but the first thing is just to acknowledge your own humanity. Like, yeah, this happens sometimes, you know, and I, when I said that you saw, I put my hand on my heart because I think sometimes self-touch really taps into self-compassion. So you could put your hand on your heart. Right?

Jean : Right.

Cheryl: Like I feel you. You could also experiment with putting your hand on your cheek, which is so darn tender… Like, oh, like, and then almost, you know, with that voice of someone who, you know, loves you deeply, like to speak to yourself with that kind, that kind compassion. Oh, sweetie. Having a rough day? You know, I, I get it, like, tell me more. And you could actually start a conversation with yourself from that place. I call it like we all have like, an inner champion. And if and one way to summon our inner champion is to think of somebody who you can count on as an outer champion. So it could, you know, people who do you know who would champion you? Who would be there and listen, what would they say? And just try to channel their voice. So that’s a very internal action that one can take is first just recognize and accept and acknowledge having a not so great day, feeling a little insecure, doubting your own significance. It happens. It’s human. I’m with you. You’re not alone. Then once we’ve acknowledged it, you could say, what do you need, sweetie? And talk to yourself. Ethan Kross, who wrote a lovely book called chatter talks about this, um, talking to yourself in the second person, like say, hey, Jean, you know what would feel really good right now? You know, what do you need? Do you need a walk? Do you need a good cry? Do you need to hug a dog? Like what? What do you need? Do you need to call a friend? And then the last thing I’d say that for me never fails, and this might sound a little corny, but when I’m really stuck in, I don’t matter, i have to kind of create evidence that I do. So I go to my local drive through of my Dunkin. I know it’s Dunkin now, not Dunkin Donuts, but I keep saying Dunkin Donuts. I go to the drive through, I order a cup of coffee and then I pay for the person behind me. I give the cashier two cards and say, please keep a card and put one in the bag for the next person. And I just scoot off. I don’t even wait to see the I just and I can tell you, I know in that moment my day is better.

Alison : Wow.

Jean : There it is. Love in action. That’s so you, Cheryl.

Cheryl: Well, it can be everybody. It’s you guys. Look what you’re doing. You’re creating these platforms. I mean, of goodness. And you’re still at it. And I was looking at your your your contributors or each one of them is amazing. Your, your podcast guests… I mean, you guys are doing it. So it doesn’t have to be sharing a card that says, You Matter, you’re demonstrating it, you both live it, you both live it. So I think taking a moment just to also acknowledge your own integrity around this topic is important.

Jean : Mhm. Mhm.

Alison : And I love also, can you you’re just…. I wish we could go out for coffee.

Cheryl: I do too. If you’re ever on the East Coast.

Jean : And a Dunkin.

Alison : Yeah. Uh, can you talk a little bit about what you said about, uh, mattering in society? Because I think so many times I have felt hopeless, like, oh, I can’t do anything about anything. Like I can, I write letters, I write postcards, I call all my representatives. And yet I’m just sitting in my house doing like, like, what do you think I could do?

Cheryl: First of all, you can be in community when you’re writing postcards because that’s going to feel better when you go. If you’re a marcher and you go to marches, you go. And that’s people say it doesn’t make a difference. That is so incredibly wrong, because it certainly makes a difference to the people who show up and feel the solidarity to say, I am not alone.  So anything we can do to reinforce the truth that you are not alone, you are not alone. So it’s always helpful to move in the direction of what you want to be creating in community, community, community, community. So I would say if you’re having a day and we all have them where it feels like it’s just bigger than me, it’s like, who can I join with? And now there’s so many ways or call me. And I mean that seriously, because I’ll help you brainstorm. What can you do? What can you do? Now there’s always an action and clearly, and I don’t want to like, there’s a lot of evidence that it’s making a difference. I don’t want to get too political, but we know it’s making a difference. It’s making a difference. And then can I just say one parable that I think is really important at times like this, there is somebody who she was picketing, like in front of the white House.

Cheryl: This is years ago. And she just every day she would go with her sign. I don’t even know what it said. This is a long time ago. And she would just march like every day, walk back and forth in front of the gate, and somebody said to her, you know, why are you doing this? Like, you think it’s really going to make a change? And she said, I’m not doing it because I want to make a change in them. I’m doing it so they don’t change me. I’m doing it so they don’t change me. So that’s why we get up the next day and we do our part.  So much that’s out of our control. But that can never be an excuse for not grabbing hold of what is in our control. Every day we live and we model for our children, for our neighbors, children, for the world’s children. We are modeling what is required to be a conscious, caring, compassionate human being. Um, and I truly believe that the world would be a more joyful and peaceful place if every human being knew in their being that they mattered, there would not be wars.

Jean : Yeah.

Alison : I think you’re right.

Cheryl: There would not be bullying. There would not be guns in schools if every human being knew that they mattered.

Jean : Mhm.

Cheryl: And knew that you mattered. If we could look at each other, regardless of geography and where we happen to be born. And our skin color, a baby’s baby, a baby. This is not complicated, but somehow it’s gotten very complicated and that’s beyond my pay grade. But we can fix it in these ways.

Alison : Right.

Cheryl: Can I just tell you one more story… You know, you would think after 11 years I’d be out of stories, i’d be, like, blasé. I was visiting my son who lives in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and he and my husband were playing golf, and I went into a woman’s boutique, and the woman was older than me. It was it was a little bit crowded. She was helping people so beautifully. And when I went to check out, I, as I often do, I said, thank you. You know, you’re juggling a lot. You were so helpful. And I gave her a card and she did start to cry and she said, you know, I just lost my daughter. And I was struggling to find out if I still mattered in the world without my daughter. This woman who was just getting, you know, pants sizes for people like so beautifully, you think she’s got it all together? She’s just a helpful store clerk, is grieving the most horrible grief. So then I said, you need more than a card. And I said, can I come around the counter and hug you? And I did. Well, then it was a small boutique, so other women were hearing this. They all came up and started to hug her too.

Alison : Oh, wow.

Cheryl: We’re all hugging this woman in a store when otherwise everyone would have just gone on their way with their purchases, thinking, lucky me, I got a pretty blouse. No, this poor woman’s heart was broken.  She couldn’t even believe it. She couldn’t believe it. So that is what that is possible for all of us.

Alison : Yeah.

Cheryl: It just takes an intention to say.  I’m going to look up from my phone. I’m going to appreciate the people in front of me. I’m not going to believe that there’s a stranger out there, because nobody’s a stranger. Once you look them in the eye, you ask them about their their lives, their pains, their hopes, their dreams. So I’m telling you, it’s not complicated. It just takes a decision. And being in community.

Jean : Right

Cheryl: You know, now you guys are a part of the You Matter community… And, you know, we share stories every week of people impact giving this message. And some people say, I don’t give out cards anymore. I just love reading your story. So fine.

Alison : You know, that is just such a beautiful, beautiful vision of these women hugging. And, you know, we talked to so many people on this podcast and it always seems that curiosity is this key element to realizing someone else is a human and someone else has a bag of rocks they’re carrying. Do you know? And I love that you were you opened up and were curious about this woman.

Cheryl: Well, she opened, she dissolved. I mean, she’s holding it together, doing her job. And then that’s what’s so powerful about this. It seems to like it did for me when somebody gave me a card. It’s like it went right into my veins, my heart. And I think it’s disarming for people to have a stranger, whatever that means, give them this message, it’s like, wow, you see me.

Alison : Right.

Cheryl: How did that happen? And then if if they’re feeling vulnerable, they, they let you know. And it’s such a gift. And it’s like in that moment, there’s no borders or boundaries or difference. There’s just who, who can’t relate to grief. So one of the most powerful Connectors is grief. And so we could just connect. And so much more impactful than anything I could have bought in that store or.

Jean : Yeah. You know, what you’re doing is really going into the, into our minds and into our hearts to become more available to each other, more connected. You know, we, we know that like, yeah, I, yeah, I know that, but it’s actually taking it a step further. You know, our actions are so powerful. You know, words are powerful and actions are another layer of creation. And, you know, I remember my, a friend of mine always was saying, you know,  we create with our, our thought words and deeds. And, you know, I love Cheryl that you’re taking it to the next level. There’s an action part, not only thinking, but it’s really beautiful. I’m really in awe of your mission. And, um, so. So I have a question about your summit. How many how many keynote speakers are there?

Cheryl: Yes, we have probably like 28 maybe. Um, some are on panels, but we have three days. Um, let me look at the schedule. Tuesday, May 12th from 11 to 1:30 eastern time and then 5 to 8. So Tuesday and Wednesday, May 12th and 13th, 11 to 1:30, and then 5 to 8 p.m. eastern time. And then Thursday the 14th were, I think 11 to 2:30 eastern time. So we have like panels are either not panels, but presentations are either basically 15 or 30 minutes. So it’s just, it’s like a little bit of a gauntlet. So I better not drink a lot because you won’t be getting up to use the bathroom. It’ll be like, okay, who’s next? But yeah, we hope to have some good interaction with the people who come to, you know, the attendees.

Jean : You will. And who, who is your co-host?

Cheryl: Well, thank you for asking. The Flourishing Center, Emiliya Zhivotovskaya. Oh my gosh, I’m going to mispronounce her name. So I’m going to stick with Emelia right now. She is the head of the Flourishing Center and she is amazing. And actually at the Flourishing center, I went through one of their programs on, um, it was called CAP a certification in Applied Positive Psychology. And I did my final project was the you Matter marathon, like 10 or 11 years ago. So they’ve been aware of the marathon and, uh, she’s, she’s an amazing, amazing woman. And the Flourishing center is amazing. And it’s all about helping people thrive and flourish using science of positive psychology to do that. And so they are co-sponsors of it.

Alison : Yeah. That’s fantastic.

Alison : And it really does not cost anything for anyone that’s listening. To sign up.

Cheryl: No..  It’s totally free.

Alison : You know, that’s the thing about you, you have no catch.

Cheryl: Right. That’s why there’s nothing on the back.

Cheryl: That’s what you were saying, Jean…. It would be a marketing piece, even though I used to have board members who said, just put your website on the back. I’m like, then it’s a marketing piece. I don’t care if it means people, you know, it’s fine. Yeah, there’s a purity. That’s why the card is black and white. Like, if it were my card to you, I’d have purple flowers on it. But that’s about me. Like, I wanted to make this as generic as possible. Let me show you something. This card, when the war started in Ukraine, that cards made in Ukrainian says you matter in Ukrainian.

Alison : Oh my gosh.

Cheryl: So I sent these over to Ukraine. I mean, my goodness. So yeah. Um, it is totally free because  why would we have a catch? Our mission is to get people on board and for anybody to feel like they can be part of this. It’s not exclusive. We want it to be as inclusive as possible. And it is. And it’s just getting the word out, which you all are enormously helpful in so people can have a choice and say, sign me up. And it’s recorded. So you don’t even have to attend live.

Alison : I know what I love is that you are a woman of your word. Do you know.. You really are like you are completely transparent about this. You’re kindhearted, you’re passionate. And it’s it’s got nothing to do with you except that, except that, you know, you’re doing good.

Cheryl: Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, I am transparent. And then because it’s just, I don’t know, another way to be. And in the spirit of transparency, if anybody’s listening who would like to be part of this, we’re always looking for sponsors because right now it is frankly, it’s self-funded, and I do it because I believe in it and it’s okay, and I also think it’s the kind of thing that there would be organizations out there that would be proud to be part of something as awesome as the matter marathon or summit. Um, but again, I haven’t been that good at figuring that part out. But nonetheless, it’s not a deterrent to what’s happening now is really an incredible opportunity. I’m so grateful to our speakers, to you all and to the participants who are going to come, and then they’re going to change the world in their own way. They will find a way. They’ll smile at somebody. They’ll hold the door for someone. They’ll do a favor for their neighbor. There’s a thousand ways, 10,000 ways to let people know they matter. And you don’t even need a card to do it.

Alison : That’s right.

Jean : That’s exactly right,

Alison : Cheryl you are… Thank you so much for taking the time today…. Really.. We have two last little questions for you. What do you think inside wink means.

Cheryl: To me when I think of inside wink, to me really honest, I think of a moment between me and Source. Me and my Source, of just like a moment of connection. Like just a moment of connection between me and The Source.

Alison : That’s beautiful. You got me crying this whole interview, Cheryl. Oh, God.

Cheryl: But they’re good tears.

Alison : They’re good tears.

Cheryl: Yes, they’re tears of our humanity, right?

Jean : And they’re tears of inspiration..and this is something all of us can do in our own way, you know? Yeah. So true. Okay, Cheryl, so final question….

Alison : This one really makes me cry.

Jean : Yeah, I know. Do you prefer cake pie or ice cream?

Cheryl: I prefer ice cream on my cake, but if I had to choose just one, it would be ice cream.

Alison : Ice cream on your cake?

Cheryl: Yeah. Why not? You gotta go. Just do it,,, just like abundance with my sugar.

Jean : Go big or go home.

Cheryl: That’s right. Chocolate cake. Vanilla ice cream. What’s not to love, right? I’m curious about your answers to both those questions. If you could share them to both those questions.

Alison : I think for me, inside wink, uh, is like, um, I, I see the love in you. So then you, I’m with that comes the trust that you’re seeing the love in me. That’s what that, that no matter what is going on, there’s a part of me that understands and sees the love in you.

Cheryl: Oh my goodness. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Alison : What about you, Jean?

Jean : Uh, so for me, when I think of inside wink, it’s, it’s the, the divine energy within and going, you know how that expresses out in the world.

Cheryl: Gorgeous, gorgeous.

Jean : Um, yeah. And, and then on the second question, I would say I love all three, but I’m going to say cake.

Cheryl: My what kind of cake?

Jean :  oh, I would say German chocolate or carrot cake.

Alison : Me,  I go for the turducken. I would go all three. I have literally on my plate at Thanksgiving had pie, cake, ice cream and just ate it with abandon.

Cheryl: With gusto. Right?

Alison : Yeah, just, you know, just throw caution to the wind. Yes, I have an elastic waistband. Let’s do it. Do you know do it like with passion. So that’s for me. I, couldn’t, I don’t, I don’t even know why we ask it sometimes because I’m asking people to choose and I love them all. It’s like, you know, kids, you know, I love them.

Cheryl: Yeah. But it’s just fun to think about each one. So it’s all good.

Alison : It’s good to think about each one. That’s right.

Jean : Exactly.

Alison : Well, we’re going to we hope lots of people come and commit and we would love… Thank you so much for reaching out because I can’t wait, i’m going to sign up and then listen to it later. Yeah. Can’t wait to hear it. You really are doing great work and we’re so proud that we know you.

Cheryl: Oh my gosh, I’m so grateful to you. I’m truly grateful. I mean, you’ve been a wonderful advocates. So thank you. Thank you. And I hope you guys just are good, good in your each of your own worlds. And you are, you’re thriving and doing well hanging in there, right?

Jean : Yeah.  We are.

Cheryl:  glad you have each other, which is good.

Alison : Yes.

Cheryl: And it sounds like. Yeah, you have animals too, right?

Alison : Yes we have, i have two dogs. Uh, and Jean’s daughter has a dog now. So that that’s she’s like a babysitting a lot with Buddy.

Jean : Yeah.

Cheryl: Very good.

Jean : Well,  we thank you for reaching out, Cheryl.

Cheryl: Do you need cards? Because if you do, just let me know and send me the address and I’ll send you. I can send you a couple hundred cards.

Alison : That would be great.

Cheryl: Yeah. Just send me the right address, Alison. Okay.

Alison : Thank you. Cheryl.

Cheryl: Be good to yourselves.

Jean : Bye. You too.

Alison : Bye.

Cheryl: Thank you. Bye.

Alison : Oh, isn’t she fantastic?

Jean : She hasn’t changed a bit, actually. And she is as inspiring as ever.

Alison : she’s like bubbling over with how important this is to her and,  how important this is to us. All of us. And it it she got me all so teary eyed so many times just about the connection she’s making and her passion. Yeah. Cheryl, I gotta gotta hand it to you, you know? And I think she’s right. We have a loneliness epidemic going on, and just these little moments of helping someone see that they’re here and someone’s recognizing them are so important.

Jean : Yes. So I hope you have the chance if to go to this summit or it’s recorded as she said, and please check out, check out her website.

Alison : Right. It is the  Youmattermarathon.org.

Alison : I won’t do the New York accent.  https://youmattermarathon.org    And please sign up for this and you can just sign up and then she’ll have a recording of it you could listen to. I think it’s really important.

Jean : Absolutely. We that is such a beautiful act is to help someone feel that they matter because we’re all going through something and we don’t know what it is. And, um.

Alison : Yeah, and then once you, once you tell someone else that they matter, you also matter. Do you know, like I, you know, and we’re just so grateful for you guys and we hope that, you know, that you matter to us because you really do. All our listeners. Thank you.

Jean : Indeed.

Alison : All right. Well, that’s it. And you matter, Jean.

Jean : And you certainly matter.

Alison : So thank you. Have a beautiful day and a sign up. Youmattermarathon.org. That’s it.

Jean : Okay.

Alison : Bye.

Jean : Bye.